"Leanne is her second name, Mummy is her first name.'

First published May 5th, 2016

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Deborah was innocently playing with these two characters from Happy Land and informed me that ‘the white one is called Leanne, that’s her second name.  Her first name is Mummy, is that right?’ 

I took too long to think this question through as a few seconds later Deborah asked ‘Is that right? Say yes or no!’ So I said ‘yes that’s right.’

This conversation took place a couple of hours ago and I’m still thinking this question through, maybe a bit too deeply. It’s weird hearing your child call you by your first name isn’t it?  It feels so alien. 

I guess my ‘name’ does take second place to ‘Mummy’ these days.  It’s not often – it’s actually very very rare – that I am without the responsibilities of our three children.  And sometimes (I’ll be honest here) I begrudge that, I feel sad that I don’t get to be ‘just Leanne’ and that we don’t get to be ‘Colin and Leanne’ just on our own.  But that’s the way it is for this time in our lives.

It’s hard always having to put yourself second especially when you are so so tired and have zero energy and not much patience.  

It’s hard always having to put yourself second when you’ve been working most of the day and then do the school run and pick up weary children who moan that you’ve not bought any food for them to have on the way home and all you’re thinking is ‘I want chocolate and I want it now!’

But sometimes it’s even harder to put yourself first.  You get some rare free time and what do you do? Maybe catch up with the ironing, spring clean, sort out some paperwork.

Or you maybe get to go on a very rare date and spend much of the time talking or trying your best to not talk about the children.

Parenting is a funny thing.  You wish for time without the responsibilities and then if you do get that time you spend it missing the responsibilities.

For now though I’m going to put myself first, have some chocolate and do nothing! Bliss!

And for the record ‘Mummy’ is my first name!

Leanne Scott