Yes, that is my child

First published Jan 14th, 2016

This morning I awoke with arms that ached and a body that felt like it had been put under a strenuous workout. What had I done? Then it struck me taking Madam D to school nursery yesterday is what I had done!

Yesterday was a day when Deborah didn’t want to go to preschool, I did my usual thing of being calm, getting myself down to her eye level asking her why she did not want to go – no response.  I then looked at the time and started to get slightly just slightly annoyed ‘Come on Deborah, let’s go we’re going to be late’ – response ‘I’m not going!’

Another minute went by and I had every intention of getting Deborah to preschool in a calm manner, but then made that awful mistake ‘Right Deborah you either come now or I take you home and you won’t be able to go to Pizza Hut either for Elijah’s birthday.’  Response: ‘I don’t want to go to school and I don’t want to go to Pizza Hut!’

Every single time I remind myself at the start of one of these ‘episodes’ that Deborah doesn’t do reasoning, every single time I end up cancelling Christmas as it were.  I end up threatening to do something which I know I won’t do.  Why do I do it?! I get so wound up and these silly things come out of my mouth ‘right that’s it you’ll just stay in the car on your own while I go to school by myself.’

As if!!

As if I am going to let a 3 year old on their own in the car parked on a very busy road!!  But still the words come tumbling out before I can stop them and then I have to reverse everything ‘If you come to school you’ll be able to go to Pizza Hut after.’

So anyway needless to say Deborah wasn’t for backing down and neither was I (I wonder where she gets her stubborn streak from?). And there began my workout, carrying this screaming child horizontally across my body into the school, three times I had to put said child down and run after her and pick her back up.  But we made it we got to the door and of course we were a minute early so had to wait outside with the other parents all the while my child getting more and more worked up and sounding as though someone should be calling the police.

Thankfully I was amongst allies, it was a school playground full of parents and children who no doubt had at some point gone through this turmoil also.  The doors opened and I picked my child up again and sat down, the wailing continued.  Thankfully at this point one of the teachers came to speak to Deborah and engaged with her.  I left as quickly as I could in search of a chocolate fix!

When we picked her up she had had a great time.  

We all have bad days, we all have times when we don’t want to do as we’re told. And yesterday was one of those days for Deborah and it’s easy to get frustrated when our children don’t go with the flow or haven’t read our itinerary for the day ahead but you know what?

They are children.

Sometimes I need to remind myself of that, to remind myself that emotions need to come out one way or another and sometimes that is through wailing all the way to preschool.  

This afternoon I took Deborah to Shuffle Dance – a bit like Ballet but cheaper – I got talking to one of the mums and as Deborah came running out of the room the mum said to me ‘She is SO cute!’, my immediate response was ‘Yes like butter wouldn’t melt!’

But then I thought you know what?

Deborah is cute, every child is cute and although there are many a times when I get frustrated there are far more times when I think ‘Yes she is stubborn, determined, but boy is she cute!’ And if today has been your day for carrying a screaming child across your body, just look at said child now and see how cute they are, and remind yourself that your child is a child.

And go make yourself a brew and find some chocolate.

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