The place where your fear lives

First published Jan 23rd, 2016

I don’t know about you but there are some places that never seemed to bother me in the past but since becoming a mother they do – a lot!

Playparks, classrooms, churches, hospitals 

This list may seem strange to you but let me explain.

Playparks are the places where children roam and run the show. Climbing over heights I daren’t look at, running in the opposite direction to where I am, wanting to go on the swings and not holding on – the list of what could go wrong seems to be endless.  Once we enter a Playpark I become a hypochondriac, I panic!  

But I know this is a place that I need to conquer and be bold in as children need Playpark, they need to take risks, they need the freedom to play.  So I’m working on that one.

Classrooms make me feel like a 6 year old and not the 30 something that I am.  Why? I’ve no idea! My time at primary school from what I can recall was a relatively happy one, yet anytime I am in Elijah’s classroom I feel like a child and have a fear of being told off or told to stop talking.  I also fear that the teachers might not think I’m a good mum, or they might think I am an overprotective mum and so on.

Churches – well think I’d best leave that one for another post as I could be here all day writing about this one! But in short let me just say that I strongly believe that churches are a place where families, children, young adults, older people and so on should all be welcome and belong.

Hospitals bring out the most fear in me.  And yet in my experience as a mum, our hospital is the place where my babies have gotten better. When I was over 8 months pregnant with Deborah, Elijah was admitted to hospital following seven months of on and off illnesses.  Every tests that could be done on him was carried out.

Over three years later – Saturday just gone- we found ourselves in the same room where some of those tests happened but this time with Micaiah. [As an aside Micaiah was fine we were advised to take him there just as a precaution]  But when Colin told me we had to go there I began to shake with fear at the thought of being back there, 5 months after our one week stay with Micaiah.

I think one of the reasons hospitals bring fear knocking at my heart is that they are a place where as a mother I feel totally helpless.  My children are unwell and I as their mother am unable to take away their pain or fix it and that makes me fearful.  But thank goodness for good nurses, junior doctors, senior doctors and consultants because thankfully for us they have being able to diagnose and treat what was making our little ones unwell.

So that’s my list of places where fear lives for me, some rational others not so much. I know I need to work through them, especially the Playpark one as the days get sunnier it would be good to take more trips to the place that children love! 

The important thing to remember in those places where our fears live is that we have the power within us to take control over that fear and we have the choice to either let that fear overpower us and stop us and our children from living life to the full or we can overpower the fear itself and live life to the full.

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children, fearLeanne Scott